


Can I call you tonight?

by Andrews_maserati



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, Angst, Artist Ronan Lynch, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Harvard Student Adam Parrish, M/M, Neil Josten Is an Idiot, Other, Past Abuse, Pining Andrew Minyard, Post-Break Up, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sassy Neil Josten, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-23 11:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30054510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrews_maserati/pseuds/Andrews_maserati
Summary: And then they were roommates.Adam and Andrew are best friends turned roommates turned co-workers. Andrew is searching for a new roommate since Adam lives at the Harvard campus with Neil Josten. And Andrew's roommate turns out to be a certain blue-eyed boy who Adam knows. Will Adam face Ronan Lynch again? After breaking his heart or will he choose to not face him at all? And will Neil find out that Andrew has a thing for him? Or will Andrew have to make a grand confession of love?This is a story about friendships, caring and most importantly, finding love in the cracks that time leaves.(Updates every Monday and Wednesday!)
Relationships: Adam Parrish & Blue Sargent, Andrew Minyard & Adam Parrish, Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau, Kevin Day/Aaron Minyard, Matt Boyd/Danielle "Dan" Wilds, Neil Josten & Adam Parrish, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch & Andrew Minyard, Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. "Fuck. Is he tall? Shaved head and blue eyes?"

**Author's Note:**

> This is a purely self-indulgent AU that I wrote.  
> There's pure fluff and heavy angst with all of our favourite boys, but it'll end on a happy note. Mentioned past abuse is canon except with minor tweaks here and there. In short the TRC x AFTG post break-up & getting together Coffee shop Harvard AU that had been haunting me for a while.
> 
> Title from the Dayglow song [Can I Call You Tonight?](https://open.spotify.com/track/64lsIF5pw0sJY0gV5kz0RN?si=Ly8QPebrT9upiT4RD0eUCA)
> 
> My Tumblr:[andrews-maserati](https://andrews-maserati.tumblr.com/)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is thriving at Harvard with Andrew and Blue as co-workers and friends at Cabeswater Café. Andrew's new roommate is hauntingly familiar.

say Adam Parrish was happy would be an understatement, quite honestly. Juggling between Harvard (and top of his class thank you very much), two jobs and two best friends, an adorable loud Blue and a murderous goth Andrew. Adam Parrish had found happiness. He'd laugh at the then trailer trash Adam if he'd tell himself that he'd send his abusive father to jail, escape Henrietta and make a life and actually be happy. The thought still made Adam's chest stutter. That he had escaped, he was free even if his own demons knocked on his doors regularly. Now he was Harvard University student Adam Parrish and not trailer trash Adam Parrish. He had good grades, two jobs that paid well and that he thoroughly enjoyed and two best friends who happened to be his co-workers. He smiled at her. Blue was happily chatting with the customers outside on the counter of their cafe, Cabeswater as Adam was cheerfully rolling chocolate chip cookie dough. If Persephone saw him regularly popping bits of dough into his mouth, she smiled and said nothing.

Some old song that Adam knew was playing on Orla's phone as she was dancing in the kitchen, frying and sauteing things on the stove as Adam and Persephone rolled dough for cookies and bread respectively. Persephone and Orla had opened Cabeswater with Maura a few years ago until Maura had gone to travel the world with her lover, Mr. Gray. Nobody had stopped her really, everyone was happy for her. But Adam and Blue had felt the same pain, the pain of losing a mother even if she was only Blue's actual mother. Adam and Blue had met in high school, stuck together because they were stubborn as hell and worked tirelessly. They had dated for a while but that hadn't worked out. Adam had thought he'd lose his only friend but Blue had hit him with her beanie harshly before calling him an idiot. "Adam Parrish, if you thought I'd leave you, you are sorely mistaken mister", she had said and Adam had cried of happiness. Soon after Orla had recruited both of them to work at Cabeswater, since they lived closeby if not together and Adam had loved the job since day one and to his luck, it paid well. Cabeswater was apparently some mythical forest that Persephone claimed was real and you'd find it if "looked really hard". Nobody questioned Persephone. It was a large space with mismatched furniture that Adam and Orla had thrifted, cleaned and repaired. They walls had been painted a sea foam green with darker green and white accents and wacky lights hung from the ceiling. Blue had filled the place and every nook and corner with plants that Adam knew Andrew secretly liked to water. There was a large bookshelf, courtesy of Mr. Gray that was filled with books and games. There were large windows with huge arches above them that brought so much light inside that they didn't even need electricity for the most part. The display counter was filled with confections, all made by Adam, Orla and Persephone. Colorful cookies and cakes and pastries, decorated with chocolate and sprinkles and marshmallows and all kinds of sweet toppings. The kitchen was neat, with everything in its place and plenty of space for moving there was always music playing along with the clattering of pots and pans.

Adam continued to hum with Persephone in tow as he saw Orla enthusiastically sway her hips to the jazz. A loud scoff entered his ears and he turned to face a very familiar face in the kitchen. Andrew Minyard stood in all of his five foot glory, and Adam had to bend low down because he was taller. Andrew was in his usual attired, all black hidden behind the sea foam green of the apron. His rainbow pride pin shined brightly on the apron as he cocked an eyebrow at Adam. Orla and Persephone said their usual hello, the former being loud and cheery and the latter being calm and quiet. Andrew nodded at both of them before proceeding to sit on the counter where Adam was working. Adam eyed him suspiciously, not even suspiciously because he knew what was about to happen. Before he could open his mouth, Andrew began stuffing his mouth with the dough and Adam groaned loudly. Andrew smirked, eyes glinting with malice and his smirk barely noticeable but Adam could read Andrew now, after knowing him for almost three years.

"Andrew, no."

"Shut the fuck up Parrish, let me live in peace", he said, mouth full of dough.

"I will not have a salmonella patient here Minyard, now shoo off or", Adam dropped his voice and Andrew's eyes narrowed. "You won't get any blueberry muffins today."

Andrew stopped. Adam felt a pang of pride. "You made blueberry muffins?"

"Maybe. If you want those then stop hogging these and get to work."

Adam smiled as Andrew shoved his face away and hopped down, his combat boots clattering loudly on the floor. Andrew was glaring daggers at Adam but Adam knew that it was hollow and grinned widely at Andrew, which caused him to smile just a little. Adam tapped his finger on Andrew's shoulder and Andrew nodded before wrapping his arms around Adam. Adam sighed affectionately as he rested his chin on Andrew's blonde locks and patted his back. It was a thing between them really, nobody was allowed to hug or even touch Andrew for reasons known and unknown, depending on who you asked; except Adam and occasionally Blue. Andrew bumped fists with Orla as they worked and did his weird little handshake ritual with Persephone and a salute with Blue. 

But only Adam got the hugs, and Adam felt like he had won a gold medal. He couldn't help but feel proud. After all, Adam had found Andrew all those years ago, during his last year at Aglionby, high and bleeding when he was returning from his then job. Adam was coming home late at night and had seen some obviously guy physically assaulting Andrew. God knows what but Adam had punched the guy's nose and told him to fuck off and smoothly lied that he knew Andrew. Adam had no choice but to call Calla since she was good at medical stuff and had frantically hoisted and picked Andrew up and carried him to his flat. Andrew had tried to stab him because he was high and manic but like Blue always said, Adam had the power of words, even if they came out blunt and harsh. Adam had sternly talked to the high in the clouds Andrew and that had shut him up. Calla had arrived later to check after him and told him that it wasn't anything but the drugs had to be worn down. Adam had shooed Andrew to the bedroom, a completely manic stranger, well technically he did know that Andrew worked at the bar that the other Aglionby boys talked about as they often mentioned a "small, dangerous goth bartender" but that didn't make anything different. The next day, Adam had woken up to Andrew brewing coffee in his kitchen. Andrew had made them both coffee and surprised Adam by telling him he knew who he was and then vomited a plethora of apologies and Adam had to force him to stop.

Adam had then been again almost killed by Andrew's clone after he had opened the door and Andrew had to physically come between them. The clone was Andrew's twin, Aaron who had literally tried to strangle Adam because he thought he had raped Andrew. Adam had gotten so furious he had thrown Aaron and Andrew out, using his cut throat words to his advantage. He had later cried to Blue, saying about how disgusting that accusation had felt. He hadn't slept that night, wondering how Andrew was. Andrew had showed up the next day, a huge box of donuts in hand and apologies on his tongue once again and Blue had lectured him for a solid twenty minutes before Adam told her he wasn't Aaron. They all apologised to each other and Adam had then talked to Aaron after Andrew had told him about his foster brother and his "brotherly affection" and Adam and Blue were ready to throw hands until Andrew told them he died in a car crash a few years ago. All three of them had smiled widely at that. They got along well, with Adam and Andrew being quiet and barely speaking but they had their own dynamic. Adam had smiled so widely at Andrew's mention that he was going to study literature that Andrew had rolled his eyes and shoved Adam's face away before muttering an awkward thank you. They worked quite well, even after Blue left to another city for her course. Adam loved reading Andrew's poems and Andrew looked at Adam's homework regularly. Andrew had revealed that somebody had indeed drugged him the night Adam found him and he was thankful that he could escape as Adam had found him. Adam had cried at that but Andrew had scowled at him but held his hand anyway. In turn Adam had told Andrew about his father and what he had done to him and to say Andrew was boiling with rage would still be a nice way to say it. But Andrew had calmed down when Adam had mentioned that his father was rotting in jail. 

Adam found out that Aaron and Andrew stayed with Bee, their adoptive mother and she and Aaron had been worried sick the night Andrew had disappeared. Adam told Andrew that he'd be happy to have him in his tiny apartment anytime. He and the twins regularly had homework nights, where it was mostly homework with Andrew periodically calling him and Aaron huge nerds but doing homework with them anyway. Aaron had later introduced Adam to his boyfriend Kevin, who was an exy player, apparently a damn good one according to Aaron. Adam was happy. Blue had squeaked loudly when she met Kevin because he had accidentally lifted her off her feet while hugging her. They had all laughed loudly at that. Adam felt happy. For the first time Adam felt happy, truly and genuinely. Andrew noticed his shift in behaviour and had poked his cheek harshly and all Adam had said was "I'm happy Andrew, I'm happy" and Andrew had smiled so brightly that it lit up Adam's room like nothing else. That time was the first time they had hugged and Aaron and Kevin had gasped so loudly, leaving Adam and Blue confused. Andrew glared at them without giving an explanation and Adam and Blue knew better than to ask. They had then proceeded to live together as Aaron had moved in with Kevin and Adam now had a new roommate who was always a little bit stabby but thirsty for hugs and made amazing waffles. They worked out fine and Blue had been ecstatic to have a new friend. Andrew had been with Adam after he had broken up with his secret boyfriend and had patiently heard Adam cry and held him together. Andrew was blunt but Adam knew he had soft edges too. Andrew made Adam waffles at midnight when he knew Adam would be staying late. He made extra for breakfast before going off to sleep. Andrew had almost stabbed Adam when Adam had collapsed in the garage he worked at because of over exertion and threatened to actually stab him if he ever did it again. That day Adam had found out about how much Andrew cared and had decided that he'd break someone's nose who said otherwise.

A loud smack to the back of his head snapped him out of his reverie and he scowled. Andrew swatted at him with his napkin and was currently glaring at him.

"Parrish, where is your pretty little mind trotting off to?"

"Fuck off Andrew."

"I want my blueberry muffins."

"Later."

"I hate you."

"You too _sweetheart_."

Andrew blushed so furiously all three of them started laughing. Everybody knew Adam and Andrew had a thing for one another but it was the thing that was so platonic to its core, they had no choice but to agree. Adam always teased Andrew by calling him nicknames and Andrew in turn would hide Adam's textbooks or worse, the salt until he apologized and offered a pint of ice cream or a tray of muffins. Adam secretly felt sad that they didn't live together, as Adam stayed on campus and Andrew had a rather huge apartment nearby. But they always had nightouts, often joined by Blue on weekends. They ordered pizza, played board games and saw old movies in Andrew's living room as Adam lived on the Harvard campus and Andrew lived in a rather huge apartment in town. Adam always looked forward to those nights. Andrew glared at Adam before moving to the stove and starting to help Orla out. 

Blue entered the kitchen after Adam had finished making the first tray of cookies and had put them in the oven. She was rather pink and smiling a bit too loudly.

"Sargent, are you having an aneurysm?" Andrew inquired.

"Shut up Andrew, Gansey just asked me out." Adam smiled. Blue and Gansey had been dancing around one another for a while now and Blue was adamant about the thing where she wanted Gansey to ask her out and not the other way around. Andrew smiled a little.

"Fucking finally. Losers, both of you." Andrew scoffed.

"As if you don't pine over Neil every time you see him here." 

She smirked and Andrew turned pink and Adam was confused and Orla and Persephone escaped before they could be stabbed, muttering something about the front counter. It took a moment for the gears in Adam's head and he gasped loudly before drowning in giggles. Andrew's cold "Parrish" stopped him instantly. 

"Neil? As in Neil Josten? My classmate and roommate Neil Josten?"

"Yes", came from both Blue and Andrew. Andrew started stomping towards Blue, knife in hand and she shrieked and ran away. Adam caught Andrew's wrist and gently took the knife away and they both sat down. Andrew protested but Adam pulled his wild card by raising an eyebrow. As he sat down, Adam got the blueberry muffins and handed two of them to Andrew.

"Two? Parrish don't be shy."

"Three and you tell me about your little crush."

"Four."

"Five and I don't tell Neil anything." Andrew blushed. Adam smiled.

"Fuck off. Fine." 

Adam handed him five of the muffins and fondly watched Andrew inhale them like a child. As usual, Andrew did a blep and stuck his tongue which made Adam chuckle as usual. He did it when Adam had a bad day or when he was having a panic attack. Andrew being Andrew always grounded him.

"So Neil."

"Yes, Neil."

"Come on Minyard, spill the beans."

"I like him."

"Like him as in you want to get in his pants like him? Or you want to take him out and write sonnets about him like him?"

"More like I want him to go out with me with some over expensive restaurant and complain about the money, kiss him senseless and I want him to fuck me till my spine breaks."

"Ewww gross."

"Yes Parrish, not everyone wants to top Harvard like you. Some of us want actual human interaction."

"Oh fuck off. I go out."

"Sure." He adds drily.

"One more word and I tell Neil about this."

"You wouldn't dare."

"What did you say? Expensive trashy restaurants and bone breaking sex?" Adam was feeling so smug, he thought he'd explode. Andrew glared.

"Adam."

"Awww Andrew, you look adorable with that blush. I should've taken a picture." Adam kissed Andrew on the forehead and Andrew being the petty boy he was, smashed his muffin in Adam's nose, smiling. Adams scoffed as he grabbed a tissue to clean his nose. Andrew laughed as a blueberry somehow got tangled in Adam's dusty hair. Adam glared at Andrew but smiled anyway.

"Found a roommate by the way."

"Oh. Who is it?"

"Some Ronan Lynch."

"Ron- no. Andrew tell me you didn't. Not Lynch. Not Lynch."

"Why not?"

"Fuck. Is he tall? Buzzcut and blue eyes?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh hell no "

"Do not tell me. Ronan Lynch js aka your not so secret hookup the one time you actually agreed to go out with me?"

"Andrew."

"Adam."

"You're so fucking petty."

"It'll be fine. It's not like he's going to come here with Gansey. He's not moving here for a week."

"And after that?"

"He probably will be here."

"I'm so fucked."

"Parrish, if you start panicking I will drown you in that pot of water. Stop acting like a child, it was a hookup."

"We did manage to go out for a couple of weeks. Did you forget."

Andrew looked positively murderous and Adam realized he had concealed this piece of information from him, partly because he had thought Ronan was dangerous. Adam thought Ronan was pretty, with this buzzcut and ocean blue eyes and that sexy, sexy tattoo. "Sorry Andrew, but we did. It was nice. But he had to move for University and I was here at Harvard so- yeah."

Andrew grabbed the back on Adam's neck to ground him. "Listen to me Adam, nobody is forcing you to face him okay? It's upto you and him. You want to see him? Fucking see him. If you don't want to, then don't. Simple. Okay?" Adam nodded his yes.. "Words."

"Yes Andrew."

"Good. Now go call the ladies back, we have customers to serve."

"Yes sir."

"And Adam?"

"Yeah?"

"The muffins were good."

"Always for you, sweetheart."

Adam laughed heartily as he watched Andrew blush once more and stuff more muffins in his mouth as he left to gather Blue, Orla and Persephone. If he smiled at Andrew smugly as he walked out , Andrew didn't say anything except that he glared.


	2. "Ronan?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil runs into someone from his past and it goes surprisingly well. Until Neil decides to introduce Ronan to his roommate. Shocking revelations are made.

weeks later.

Neil Josten was a mess. Not really, but he was. But he was trying. He studied the elite math program at Harvard because something about Stuart ranting about finally putting that nerd brain to use had annoyed Neil so he had given the exams and applied and surprisingly gotten in. He had decent grades, few friends and a roommate he adored. Adam was like a big brother to Neil, literally and figuratively. He always listened to Neil, helped him in languages while he helped Adam in whatever bit of math he had. Adam always read Neil, and like Blue always teased, Neil believed that Adam was a psychic. Because he always knew. He knew Neil's good and bad days. He didn't talk to Neil when Neil had his walls up and locked himself away from the world, but it wasn't sad really. Because Neil knew that when his walls broke down again, Adam would be there waiting for him. Adam would make Neil his favourite strawberry smoothie (god knows how Adam got strawberries all the year round) and watched Pixar movies with him and laughed when Neil made fun of the characters. Neil Josten was a mess, but Adam disagreed. Adam told him that everybody is messed up, but you un-mess it up eventually. 

Neil's train of thought was interrupted by the vibration of his phone which in reality made a sound in the quiet library. Neil hassled to make it stop as the librarian eyed him. He saw the name and smiled to himself as he pocketed the phone to gather his stuff and ran out into the open garden. He found a place below the old tree to sit, where there were no people. He took his ziplock out, which had blueberry muffins which Adam had graciously made last night, extra for Neil. Neil knew that Andrew also liked them as much as he did and if he saw Adam sneaking in a few, he smiled and said nothing. Neil didn't know much about Andrew, no wait he did know much about Andrew. Adam always had his friend's name in his mouth so Neil knew a lot about him already. He quite enjoyed Andrew's silent company when he hung out at Cabeswater and saw him cook or bicker with Adam and Orla through the little glass arches. He also knew that Cabeswater's trademark waffles were Andrew's creation. Neil didn't know whether Andrew considered him as a friend or just a nobody. Neil wanted answers, he guessed. Neil started biting into his muffin, the tanginess of the blueberry making his heart go ooh and aah in pleasure. He took his phone out, saw the multiple missed calls from Adam and plugged his earphones and dialled back.

"Neil fucking Josten, where are you?"

"Hi Adam. I was in the library but right now I'm in the garden stuffing your home made heavenly muffins."

"Well thank you, sorry I had to run today. Blue is sick with a fever, god knows how. So I have to manage. But Orla, Persephone and Andrew are here. But you know how it gets without Blue. It's just-" Neil hummed.

"Calm down Adam, is Andrew there? Talk to him okay? Or me. Anyway. It's gonna be fine. Don't panic over this at least."

"Yes okay."

"You won't panic over your goddamn exams but panic over managing a cafe." Neil scoffed and Adam laughed on the other side. He heard a muffled "Quit your gossiping with your roommate" and deduced it to be Andrew.

"Yeah yeah, fuck off Andrew. Okay Neil, see you tonight okay? Also, can you get-"

"The groceries yes, go harass Minyard now."

"See you later."

"I will. Bye. Love the muffins as usual."

"You're welcome, see you later."

Neil hung up with a smile on his face and stomach full and headed out to Target. Adam had sent him a text message about what all they would need and tried to give him money but Neil had lectured Adam about it, even though he knew Adam didn't accept charity as he called, but he didn't argue. Like Neil, Adam was trying too. After a year of knowing Neil, Adam knew that Neil was a stubborn asshole with a smart mouth. So he left it at that. Neil walked to the Target, headed inside, waved a hi to Abby who was working at the cash counter as usual and grabbed a cart. 

Tapping fingers on the handle and walking through the aisles, he grabbed soap and shampoo, the kitchen essentials and even picked up a couple packs of cup noodles that he knew Adam liked among other things. He made sure to grab chocolate as he and Adam both liked eating it on their bad days. He expected to find Twix but did not expect to see those shark-like blue eyes in front of him. Neil Josten never really forgot a face, or name. Even if his whole existence before being Neil Josten revolved around creating different faces and names and identities in general. Neil stared at the same blue eyes, the shaved head (which was a change) and the tank top and the combat boots and a tsunami of nostalgia hit him and he tried hard not to panic. 

Ronan Lynch, after all these years, was standing in front of him, checking out cookies, his usual scowl ever present on his face. Neil couldn't decide whether to approach him or not. He figured Ronan couldn't recognise him anyway, since Alex Jennings had black hair and brown eyes but Neil Josten had auburn curls and icy blue eyes. Neil decided to go with his gut feeling.

"Ronan?" Ronan turned, his expression wild and his glare sharp, Neil remembered every single detail of it.

"Who the fuck are you? How do you know my name?"

"It's me. Alex Jennings? Well it's Neil Josten now."

"Alex-" Ronan bit his lip so harshly, Neil thought must've drawn blood. He looked head deep in thought. Ronan's expression immediately softened as his usually sharp smile bloomed as a softer one. "Hi. Al- Neil."

"Hi Ronan. It's good to see you, after all these years", Neil replied, his voice breaking. Ronan moved closer, dropping the cookies unceremoniously in the aisle. Neil nodded without hesitation as Ronan hugged him so fiercely Neil couldn't help but hug him tightly back. Ronan was back. 

Ronan, who had stayed with Neil all those years ago when they were 16 and Mary had come to Niall for hiding and they had stayed together for a while. Ronan and Neil knew each other, they had shared secrets and lies, everything from start to end, and then Neil, or Alex had disappeared without leaving a trail behind. Alex Jennings had become Stefan Barrows then Chris Hunter and finally Neil Josten. Neil Josten was alive whereas Alex, Stefan and Chris died in Baltimore along with his father. Neil was alive, very much alive.

Neil vividly remembered the day he had met the Lynch family. Aurora and Niall, the lovely people that they were and the help they provided. The Lynch brothers, Matthew with his carefree and friendly attitude, Ronan with his rashness and equally soft care and Declan with his old brotherly attitude. A month. They had stayed with them for a month because Mary had told Neil they were probably the safest of them all. Nathan couldn't have found them out in a place like Henrietta. So they stayed. Neil had flinched the first time Ronan had touched him. It wasn't his fault, he was just helping a wounded Neil walk but Ronan didn't know. Ronan had teared up a bit and Neil had to reassure himself and Ronan that he was fine, that even if for a short while before his father got to him, he was safe. Ronan had then helped Neil clean up his wounds, and Neil was surprised that Ronan who looked so dangerous could be so gentle and tender. Ronan had cursed so much at the people who had hurt Neil that Neil couldn't help but chuckle at Ronan. That was the first time he had seen that sharp smile on Ronan's face. 

Mary had known Niall Lynch for a long time and Neil knew better than to go against the woman who was keeping him alive. So he listened to her and behaved. But in the Lynch household, things were different. Aurora and Niall never hit or even raised their voices at their children, instead using kind words to make them understand. Neil was so surprised when he saw Ronan had a cow of his own whom he had named Wrench because she was, in his words "the colour of a rusty wrench" with her coat of various Browns. Neil and Ronan had spent the whole day at the Barns, playing with animals and eating lunch with everyone. Neil had seen the softer and kinder side of his mother then, where she wasn't so alert and scared all the time. This time she was relaxed just a bit and smiling and happy. Neil and Ronan practically spent their whole days together, lounging in the farms, helping the Lynches, feeding and petting the cows and sleeping on their bellies. Neil also found out that Ronan loved to paint. He had a small barn to himself where he painted. Neil and Ronan spent a large part of the day hidden in the Barn, surrounded by paint and papers and water and in general a mess but it was a happy mess with a laughing Ronan ever present in front of Neil. Neil felt the safest he had in a long time. Two weeks passed and Neil had known about Ronan and Ronan knew about Neil. Ronan had promised Neil he wouldn't look at Kavinsky again and Neil had promised Ronan he would try his best to stay alive. One and a half week later, Mary had gotten a call and Neil knew that it meant they were leaving. He cried when they were leaving and Ronan had too. Ronan had given him a small keychain, it was a Raven. Chainsaw, he called it and had given it to Neil. After all these years, Neil still had that keychain in his drawer. 

"I thought you were- Fucking Jesus fuck."

"Ronan. I'm here. I'm alive. I'm here."

"Asshole." He held Neil tighter and Neil was smashed against his chest. They eventually let go and Neil was smiling and Ronan was too, with teary eyes. 

"What are you doing there?"

"I moved. Got tired of Henrietta. I'm doing an Art major at BrownRidge now."

"Oh. That's closeby. Fuck. After all these years, and I see you here and you're here. Ronan, I missed you."

"I missed you too Neil. Where do you stay?"

"At the Harvard campus. I'm a math major."

"Fucking nerd", but he smiled anyway.

"Do you have time to catch up? I know a place my friend works at."

"Fuck yeah. It's been so long. How is-" Ronan gestured and Neil shrugged.

"She's dead. So is my father, you must've seen the news." Ronan nodded. "Uncle Stuart looks after me now. Even if he's in London most of the times but yeah. Everyone at the Barns okay?"

"Mom dad passed away in a car crash. I was in a bad place, but whatever. Shit. It's all fucking good now. Matthew and Declan are fine. Thriving and shit."

"And you?" Ronan smiled.

"I'm good. Mostly sober. No more drugs and drag racing and that kind of shit. I'm good Neil. Trust me. I didn't break my promise." Ronan said with an added awkward laugh.

"So did I. Come on." Ronan grinned as Neil ushered him outside.

They eventually paid for their groceries. Neil felt very proud when he introduced Ronan as his childhood best friend to Abby and she cooed at Ronan, who appeared annoyed but Neil knew better by the way his face was flushed. They walked out of Target and Ronan guided Neil to his car. Neil wasn't interested in cars but goddamn he had to admit that Ronan's BMW was a thing of beauty. It was a blue, so dark that it almost looked black. Ronan got in the driver's seat and Neil kept the stuff behind and got in the passenger's seat. They talked and talked as Neil gave directions and nothing, absolutely nothing could wipe the smile of either of their faces. They eventually parked, as Neil eyed the bright sea foam green sign of Cabeswater cafe. Ronan followed him and Neil could see Orla at the cash counter since Blue was absent and the bell ringed as usual as they entered. Orla gave Neil her usual smile as they walked over and sat down by the window. 

"You come here often?"

"Yes, my roommate works here. So I'm allowed to hang out as long as I like. Come on, let's order."

"Jesus fuck yes. I'm so hungry." Neil chuckled.

Neil laughed as they both got up and headed towards the counter and Orla had disappeared so they waited, eyeing the menu for their options to eat and drink. Adam appeared a moment later, followed by a shorter human, which Neil instantly recognised as Andrew. 

"Hey Ne- Ronan." Adam froze and Neil could see him turning red by the second. He looked at Ronan, who Neil realised had tensed up and was staring at Adam. Andrew cleared his throat loudly.

"Adam? You and Ronan know each other?"

"Yes, but Neil how the fuck do you know each other?"

"It's a long story Adam, I'll tell you when we get back home. But Ronan is my childhood friend when we were you know-" he gestured and Adam nodded. "And I met him at Target now, after five fucking long years."

"Oh. Wow okay. That's nice."

"And now, how do you know Ronan?"

"We used to date, like 2 years ago. And then yeah-"

"So Ronan is your boyfriend from Henrietta? I- oh my god he is. I didn't even realise."

"Yes I'm aware of your obliviousness." Adam rolled his eyes.

They stared at each other for a while before Andrew broke the tension.

"So you're telling me that Josten's friend and Adam's ex and my roommate are the same person? What a surprise."

A collective "what the fuck?" Had been replied and all four of them started at each other. Andrew gave them a look.

"Andrew Minyard. Fucking finally. I was growing bored of all those Skype calls. Good to finally see you man." Ronan held out a fist and Andrew bumped it, hesitantly. Ronan's smile that appeared was sharp.

"Likewise, good to see you Lynch. Excited to see how this" he gestured between Adam and Ronan "turns out."

Neil laughed because sometimes Andrew's pettiness was surprising. Today it was surprising and endearing. Adam and Ronan continued their staring contest as Neil helplessly looked at Andrew who decided to give a total of zero fucks and disappeared into the kitchen but not before muttering a quiet "fucking losers." Neil smiled.

Ronan was fiddling with the leather armbands on his wrist as Adam stood tensed. Neil couldn't bear to see his friends like this.

"Adam, can you get me my regulars and for Ronan-"

"I think I know what he likes. I'll get it", Adam replied, not meeting any of their gazes and quietly typed it on the computer. "Oatmilk latte and waffles with no blueberries?" Adam muttered and Ronan nodded. Neil didn't miss the pink dusting on Adam's freckled cheeks and bit his smile. Ronan was still tense as a rock, but relaxed a bit when Adam said what he'd like. "You can go sit down, I'll get it to your table."

"Thank you Adam." Adam smiled.

"Thanks Parrish. It's good to see you", Ronan added, nervous.

"You too Lynch", Adam said awkwardly.

And with that Adam hurriedly disappeared. Neil and Ronan got back to their seats. But Neil's head was stuck on Adam. He knew Andrew would be there for him but he was still nervous.

"Ronan? If it's okay with you I'm just gonna go and check on Adam okay?"

"Yes, fuck. Please do that. Let me know. I can't-" Ronan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Don't worry okay?" Neil gently squeezed his hand and Ronan nodded.

"Yeah man."

Neil smiled and went around to the back door and entered. Adam was sitting on a stool, Andrew and Orla hovering around him. Adam's gaze met his and Neil smiled as he walked. Andrew interrupted before he could say anything.

"Josten, do you not know customers aren't allowed inside?"

"Fuck off Andrew, I give zero shits about your rules. Adam, you okay?" Andrew smirked, Neil was annoyed but noticed it anyway.

"No. Yes. I don't know. Fuck Neil. He just- I knew he was Andrew's roommate and just. I missed him so much. I missed him."

Adam was crying now, and something in Neil's heart broke. He immediately wrapped his arms around Adam's waist and Adam's cried harder into Neil's shoulder. Neil was partly surprised when Andrew wrapped his arms around both Adam and Neil. Neil quite liked it for some reason he couldn't understand. Andrew's fingers were prominent on his back and Neil liked their warmth.

"Adam, do you want to talk to him?"

"How can I Neil? I broke his heart. I fucked up. Badly."

"Yes Parrish, we know. Josten asked another question." Neil flipped Andrew off and Andrew just raised an eyebrow.

"I do. I do want to talk to him. Obviously. I don't know whether he will."

"Okay."

"He probably hates me."

"Nobody hates Adam Parrish."

"Oh fuck off."

"Do you hate Adam, Andrew?"

"Always." Neil knew what he meant. Neil rolled his eyes but smiled at Andrew anyway. Andrew looked away.

"Do you hate Adam, Orla?" He yelled.

"Fuck no. Which asshole hates Adam? I will murder him!"

"See? Nobody hates you."

"Okay."

"I love you Adam. I do. You're my best friend. Andrew could be too if he wasn't such an asshole all the time."

"Pot Calling the kettle black, Josten."

"Whatever. That's not the point. We love you Adam. Nobody hates you. I don't think Ronan does too. He might be angry but you're older now. I'm sure you can talk it out. Okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, you both tiny assholes."

"Ungrateful."

"Fucking loser, Parrish."

"Minyard you know I know right?" Adam grinned so widely Neil couldn't help but let out a confused chuckle. Andrew's gaze on him was heavy.

That shut Andrew up. Neil's curiosity was awakened. Looked like Neil wasn't the only one who kept secrets. He looked at Andrew, who was eyeing Adam with narrowed eyes.


	3. "I can't do this anymore."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened between Adam and Ronan, the beginning and the end. Fluff, light smut and heavy angst.

Two years ago.

How Andrew Minyard managed to drag Adam Parrish into a bar on a Saturday night is a question you'll never find answers to. It wasn't like Andrew had persuaded Adam, but Adam had decided that for once he would go out with Andrew, do things he likes instead of sitting holed up in their apartment doing homework. Or rather, Adam doing homework and Andrew passing snarky comments at him, albeit fondly. Adam had grudgingly put on the very comfortable sweater Andrew had thrown at him while scoffing loudly. And they had argued per usual about Adam not being a charity case and Andrew responding with a cool "I know you're not but you need to be treated right" to which Adam had flushed because nobody had told Adam that he deserved to be treated right. Adam had teared up which had in turn had made Andrew emotional, not that Adam would say it out loud. But Andrew had a sixth sense so he had covered his emotions up by "and I'm not going to the bar with some hobo, Parrish".

So that's how Adam Parrish, Harvard student and a "giant ass nerd" (in words of Andrew) was currently nursing a lemon soda while Andrew disappeared and Adam knew better than to ask questions to the blond. Adam watched bodies swirling and dancing under the neon lights as some loud, ear bleeding music played in the background. Adam took a sip of his cold beer, the heat warming up his throat as he aimlessly wandered his gaze around. A pair of blue eyes locked into his. Adam could recognise those eyes and that aura anywhere. It's not like he had a gift but Blue always told him that he had a "thing" for things like these.

Ronan Lynch was standing in front of Adam Parrish, eyes staring into his as he downed his glass in a single sip and smiled his sharp smile. Adam had seen that smile before, the last time being a year ago when he had last seen Ronan at the Aglionby prom slash end of the school party at Henry Cheng's mansion. Adam was tipsy, not drunk. And he vaguely remembers Ronan being drunk to the core and muttering words that had made Adam Parrish kiss him. Adam knew that Ronan liked him and he hadn't thought about it. Because Adam Parrish was trailer trash and poor and wore ratty clothes and worked at a garage. How he was the object of Ronan's affection was the one mathematical equation he would never solve. Adam had kissed him then, in one of the bedrooms and Ronan had stilled and Adam had realised he made the biggest mistake of his life. Adam left crying. He was running away, ignoring Ronan's drunk shouts. Adam Parrish had kissed Ronan Lynch. Ronan Lynch, Aglionby's bad boy and top of the class in Latin. Ronan Lynch, tennis player and drag racer. Ronan Lynch, beautiful and dangerous. And the worst part was, Ronan Lynch had _liked_ Adam Parrish.

Adam snapped back to his senses and saw Ronan approaching him and froze in his seat. He was probably going to get punched by the boy he kissed a year ago and never showed his face to and in return Ronan Lynch was going to get stabbed by one particular Andrew Minyard. Adam closed his eyes, preparing for impact, just like he did when his father was angry at him. But nothing happened. A snap of fingers forced Adam to open his eyes. Ronan Lynch stood in front of him, smelling of wood and moss and Ronan and Adam was feeling intoxicated already. Ronan looked good. Fuck he looked hot, who was Adam kidding? With his usual shaved head and black tank top with a leather jacket and ripped jeans, Adam couldn't help but look. Adam was especially attracted to the tattoo that peeked out from the back of Ronan's neck, black vines and twigs creeping out. Ronan's eyes were burning blue and Adam couldn't help but look away.

"Parrish." It sent chills down Adam's spine.

"Lynch."

"Haven't seen you since you disappeared from Henrietta."

"Oh, I'm at Harvard, Ronan."

"Tell me something new."

"What do you want to know?" Adam still didn't know how Ronan knew he was at Harvard. 

"Why did you run away after kissing me Parrish?"

"Ronan I-"

"It's okay Parrish. We were both drunk. And I didn't forget. Jesus fuck Parrish you kissed me and ran away. What was that supposed to mean?"

"I'm sorry Ronan. I- I- got scared and I kissed you when we were both drunk and I didn't want to be, you know and just. Fuck."

"Adam." And all he heard was _Adam. Adam. Adam._

Adam threw himself off the bar stool and kissed Ronan. His mind had stopped functioning as his lips crashed against Ronan's. And Ronan let out a grunt before he kissed Adam back. Ronan Lynch was kissing Adam Parrish. Adam felt a tinge of pride at that. They were harsh and they both knew it. Their lips parted and their tongues danced as they explored each other's mouths. They pulled away. Ronan looked glorious. His pale skin was dusted with pink and even under the bare minimum lighting, Adam could see Ronan, clear as day. Ronan's lips were red and swollen and his smile was lopsided. Adam's thumb traced Ronan's cheek as he bent down till their foreheads were touching. Ronan was tall, so was Adam but he was still shorter than Ronan by an inch or two. Adam could see Ronan smile. Ronan kissed him again, this time it was soft and slow. Adam wished he could convey his apologies with his lips.

"I'm sorry", he whispered to Ronan.

"Fuck Parrish. What took you so long?"

"Harvard was keeping me busy."

"Fuck Harvard."

"Ronan."

"Adam." 

Ronan dragged Adam to one of the bathroom stalls in the corner of the bar and locked them in. They were kissing again, tongues and teeth clashing against each other as they kissed as if it was their oxygen and they'd die if they didn't. Adam's hands were on Ronan's hips and Ronan's fingers had looped around Adam's cheap leather belt as they were busy exploring each other's mouths. Ronan pulled away, and Adam looked at him. Ronan nodded and Adam's hands found their way to Ronan's jeans and-

"Parrish. Are you fucking sure?"

"Yes Ronan yes."

"Are you drunk?"

"No."

"Me too."

"Okay."

"I haven't done this before."

"Me too."

Adam hastily unbuckled Ronan's jeans and pulled down to his ankles. He kissed Ronan once again before he took him in his mouth. Ronan gasped softly and it ringed in Adam's ears as he sucked Ronan. Ronan's hands were lost in his unkempt hair and Adam's hands gripped Ronan's thighs. Ronan came undone some time later with a not so loud gasp and a string of curses and moans escaping his mouth as he came. Ronan looked at him questioning and he nodded and Ronan undid his belt and his cheap jeans, which were fading in blue. Adam had to stop himself from moaning loudly as Ronan took him in his mouth. Adam was shaking a bit, his hands unsteady on Ronan's shoulders. 

"Ronan."

Ronan stopped immediately, carefully pulling away. He looked up at Adam, eyes tinged with questions and worries.

"You okay?"

"Just- Just don't stop."

Ronan laughed loudly at Adam's words and Adam blushed as he clapped a hand to Ronan's mouth to stop him from laughing so loudly. Adam nodded once and Ronan continued to do what he was doing which was making Adam's brain malfunction and his whole body shake with pleasure. Adam came under Ronan's hands with a gasp as he gripped Ronan's shoulders tightly. They stayed there for a while and sometime later Adam's phone buzzed in his pocket. Andrew. Adam realized he wasn't at the bar counter and Andrew was most definitely freaking out internally. Adam cut the call. Adam was definitely going to get stabbed tonight.

"We've to go Ronan."

"What's wrong Parrish?"

"Andrew. My roommate. I am not at the bar counter obviously and he'll be looking for me."

"Okay, come on then."

Ronan kissed Adam once again, smiling into the kiss and Adam wrapped his arms around Ronan's neck before they had to go. They washed their faces and their hands before they headed out of the bar. Adam knew where Andrew had parked his car and made way. Ronan's arm was slung carelessly around Adam's shoulder and Adam's was around Ronan's waist. They walked under the city lights, loud noises from the cars and music hitting their ears. The weather was rather cold, but it felt nice and it felt nicer that Ronan was warm. They turned a corner and Ronan stopped and turned to him.

"Parrish, I have to go. Matthew is here, I don't know how, and he's waiting for me."

"Okay. Ronan?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you go out with me?" Ronan laughed so hard Adam was embarrassed.

"Parrish, you just had my dick in your mouth. Should've asked that question before you know?"

"Asshole."

"Yes Parrish I will go out with you. I would love to go out with you. Are you free tomorrow evening?"

"I guess?"

"Give me your phone, dipshit."

Adam took out his phone and handed it to Ronan. Ronan typed his number and saved it as Adam saw "Ronan Lynch" saved in his phone.

"Thank you Ronan."

"You're welcome Parrish. I had a fucking great time." Ronan sneered, Adam blushed.

"God Ronan. Shut up."

"What Parrish? We just made out and did things and now you want me to shut up? You hurt me." Ronan made a face and Adam chuckled.

"Asshole. See you tomorrow then?"

"No shit Sherlock." 

Adam kissed Ronan on the cheek before Ronan got into the cab and walked away. Adam continued walking towards the parking lot and took his phone out and dialled Andrew's number. He picked up almost instantly.

"Parrish where the fuck have you been?" Definitely fuming with rage.

"Coming. Almost at the parking lot." Andrew hung up.

Adam found Andrew sitting on the hood of his Maserati smoking while he looked at the sky. He sat up and hopped down as soon as he saw Adam and walked towards him. Adam was only a bit scared because he objectively knew Andrew wouldn't hit him or some shit, he would never but right now he was unsure. Who was he kidding? Andrew would never lay a hand on him. But the Minyard glare was scary, that was for sure.

But Adam stilled as Andrew practically pounced on him and hugged him albeit a bit too tightly but Adam understood. He patted Andrew's back and gently whispered an apology. Andrew huffed loudly.

"Parrish, one day we manage to go out and you disappear."

"As if you don't."

"Parrish. Don't play games."

"I was busy. Doing stuff."

"Parrish. You really went all out today didn't you?" Andrew smirked and Adam rolled his eyes.

"It was fine, it was just a hook up". Adam hated lying to Andrew but it was better until he knew what was about to happen with Ronan. Andrew eyed him before giving him a smile. They both got home, brushed and Andrew went off to sleep as Adam started working on his essay. Some hours later when Adam was about to sleep, he saw a text from Ronan.

- _Goodnight Parrish_

_-See you tomorrow :)_

Adam slept with a smile on his face.

*

To say Ronan and Adam's first and the next million dates went glorious was an understatement. They were something, and then they were boyfriends. Ronan had formally introduced Adam to Gansey, who Adam knew but never talked to at Aglionby. But Gansey talked to Adam like an old friend and they got along quickly. Adam hadn't met the Lynch brothers yet. But he was fine with that. He knew that this was as important to Ronan as it was to him. But he revelled in the glory that Ronan was his first. And he was pretty sure he was Ronan's first kiss. Adam didn't pry and ask what happened to Ronan before, he knew Ronan would tell him when the time came.

"Ronan, do you think I'm enough? For you?"

"Fuck you Parrish, if you think you're not."

It had been almost 3 months since they had first, ahem, gotten together. Adam was happy. But he knew this wasn't going to last. He was going to Harvard in almost a month and Ronan was going to Everstone, which was not to mention, 6 hour drive from Harvard. Adam didn't want to let Ronan, let this go. It had been a couple of months since his first year at Harvard had started and Ronan was going to start at Everstone in a month.He wanted this too much. So much that he held Ronan tighter. They were asleep in Ronan's bed in his apartment. Adam had been awake since the past god knows how many hours, replaying each and every memory he had made with Ronan since the last month. Each date, each kiss, each smile, each curse had flashed before Adam's eyes. The way Ronan looked at him, with his ocean blue eyes and the way Ronan held him, as if Adam would leave if he held him loosely. That's what Adam Parrish was going to do anyway. He exhaled loudly as his chin rested on Ronan's shoulder and his hands held Ronan's under the blanket. Ronan stirred. He woke up and turned to his side. His eyes were still half closed, Adam's were half filled with tears threatening to spill out. Ronan opened his eyes, Adam closed his.

"Parrish, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Adam whispered, wishing Ronan heard.

"Adam." Adam opened his eyes. Ronan's gaze was burning.

"I can't do this anymore, Ronan. I'm sorry."

Under Adam's hands, Ronan stilled. Under Adam's hands, Ronan's heart broke. Under Adam's hands, he let Ronan go. Just like that, because good things and Adam Parrish didn't belong to the same equation.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry Ronan. I can't."

"Parrish, you explain right now what the fuck is going on in your head." Ronan had sat up, and his voice was loud and angry, sad and broken. Adam sat up and faced him.

"Because Ronan, this is not going to work out. I'm go to Harvard, you're going to Everstone. For now it's fine because after you move in two weeks, It's going to be 6 hours of distance between us."

"Then what Parrish? I'll fucking drive on weekends."

"Is that your answer to everything Ronan? That's not how it works. You're telling me we'll see for less than 48 hours a week? And I have to be here, go to fucking classes and do god knows how many jobs and you'll be there in your precious college doing things you like and spending money as if nothing happened. Not everyone is born with a fortune in their pockets Ronan. I don't want to feel like a fucking charity case when you say you'll drive for 6 hours to see me. Money doesn't grow on trees."

"Fuck you Parrish. Fuck you."

"Ronan. Let me go. You deserve better. You don't deserve this trailer trash and poor boy who works in a garage just so he could have food to eat and some money."

"Get out."

"Ron-"

"Get the fuck out Parrish. You think I am doing this because I think you're a charity case? Fuck you, asshole. I did this because I love you. Believe it or not. I do."

"Don't say that, Ronan please."

"What Parrish? Never heard those words before?

Ronan's eyes widened at his own words as Adam's stomach twisted in disgusting knots. Ronan was silent. Adam got up, picked up his things and left. He got a cab and went back home. He knocked, Andrew opened the door with a raised eyebrow. Adam threw everything on the couch and went to his bedroom and locked the door and slept. He didn't think about Ronan, his words and the things he did. He didn't know how they had managed to fuck it up all in the span of five minutes. Adam Parrish rarely cried, but today he cried till he couldn't breathe and his pillow was soaked with tears and he cried till he fell asleep. Andrew's knocks on the door woke him as he got up and Andrew looked at him before calling him out for lunch. He washed his face, he looked like a zombie. His face had lost its colour and his eyes were red and his body ached. All he could think about is Ronan telling him that he loved Adam. Adam went to the living room where Andrew was sitting with two bowls of pasta steaming in bowls and watching a rerun of the Great British Bake Off as he waited for Adam. Adam sat on the couch, besides Andrew's feet. Andrew poked him with his toes.

"Parrish."

Andrew's voice was enough to break Adam down. Andrew scrambled and sat beside Adam, careful not to touch him. Andrew knew that Adam and panic attacks and touches were a complicated equation. Andrew quietly whispered "I'm going to hold your hand, okay Parrish?" And Adam didn't remember doing anything but Andrew's fingers were around his and he could faintly register Andrew telling him to breathe and he did until his breathing somehow slowed down. He had closed his eyes so tightly that it hurt now. He painstakingly opened them. He rubbed his eyes with the hem of his sleeve. He saw that Andrew was sitting beside him, his gaze heavy and his hand feather light yet tightly gripped around Adam's.

"Andrew I-"

"Was it worth it Parrish?" Andrew's hazel gaze was heavier on Adam. "Was it worth it breaking your secret boyfriend's heart?"

"Yes." Andrew gave him a look. He knew it was a lie. Adam knew it was a lie. 

It wasn't worth it, breaking up with Ronan.

And all that Adam thought about was, that Ronan had loved him.

And he had loved Ronan back, all this time.


End file.
